Patience

I always considered myself to be patient. I mean I don't feel like I'm too spoiled or get everything right away or anything, I work for the things I do get. But I realized lately, that I am so not patient. Okay so I guess I knew it before, I mean one of the reason's I don't cook a lot is because I am too impatient and crank up the heat and then burn stuff, but I thought when it really mattered I was patient. But here is how it really goes.

I give myself a deadline, I say I won't think about it until a certain point, but that is just to make it easier for me to wait longer. Then if whatever I'm waiting for hasn't happened at that point I usually just give up and feel disappointed. Even though that was the point that I said I would actually start waiting at... So basically I wasn't patient at all to begin with. 

Then today I heard something that was said by someone I really admire about patience. He talked about how patience isn't just waiting for something, but its working towards it, or some other worthy goal, while your waiting. Not just sitting around and expecting something to happen, but trying to patiently go about getting there. In some ways it doesn't really make sense to me, but in some ways I think 'huh okay so I'm really not patient at all' 

I don't like to wait. I like to feel gratification if I have done something. not necessarily that instant, but who really enjoys waiting forever. That is really something I need to work on. I mean I remember just waiting for the day I would turn 14, then for the day I would turn 16 and drive and date, then 18 and graduating, now there are all other kinds of things to wait for, and who knows if they will ever come. Being patient has turned into so much more than waiting for Santa. Patience is a virtue and one I definitely don't posses, but I'm working on it. Hopefully it doesn't take too long! :) 

Speaking of Santa...