I don't really have anything worth writing about today, but here are some more pictures. I'm nearly done. Although not really.

Never Knowing

May I just say I get sick of never knowing. Not knowing the future, not knowing what others think, not knowing where i am going and not being able to understand how others think. Scratch that, I don't even know myself let alone other people! But I think all of it just comes back to not knowing...

Sometimes I get so worried, I mean I just want to be certain of something for once

But I tend to find that when I hit that point of certainty, its not really

CERTAIN. 

I mean I feel like I know what I want, and where I want to go. How I need to get there. 

And I make 

...a plan... 

Plans are stupid. 

I mean don't get me wrong, they are a necessary thing. 

"If you don't know where you are going then you are certain to never get anywhere."

But I feel like so often I make a plan just to change it. 

You know what I think part of the problem is? I am a major day dreamer. I think of something and picture all these different possibilities until I have myself convinced that my life is going to be heading in the direction that whatever triggered the day dream is sending me. It all seems like it will be, but then i realize a little while later that i have suddenly developed a new day dream. and then I find myself wondering 

'what happened to the old one...?'

And I'm not just talking about boys (I know that's what everyone is thinking).

I just wish for once that I could be sure when I start something that I'm not going to change my mind ten minutes later (hyperbole). That way I feel like I could throw myself into things more. But I get hesitant because I'm just worried because I can't make up my mind. How am I supposed to be a grownup and make life altering decisions when my mind has a major case of A.D.D.?

Maybe my problem is I just don't have enough faith. Not Faith in God, because I do have that. Just faith in life in general. Faith that everything will work out even when nothing is going wrong to make me believe otherwise. Faith to press forward and go with the way I am feeling right now. Maybe if I wasn't so hesitant my A.D.D. wouldn't kick in. I should try that. Try to just let my hair down. Maybe even try to have a little more faith in other people. And mostly to have a little more faith in MYSELF...

Problem is... I get scared...

Enjoying the moment

Life right now feels semi-stressful. Which is a step up from the potential stressful, or major stress. I am just doing classes which aren't too bad, except for the physics 30 by correspondence, and that is only bad because i have to motivate myself 100% on my own which is a bit tough but do-able. I am waiting for NAIT to let me know whether or not my life will be changing around completely, and I'm just enjoying life now. Spending time with friends and getting to know people. Its really fun.

I don't want to seem lame, but I would just like to say that Valentine's Day this year was so fun. Most people who know me know that I am not the biggest fan of this particular holiday, but this time around I was really happy about it. Don't you just love those people who surprise you when they don't have to? There is no obligation, but they just want you to be happy. This was the surprise I got..

Also Here is the update on the clothing experiment. yes I am still going strong. 

A Tribute to Dreams

Sometimes you come true,

and sometimes you don't.

But no matter what, we can't help it

We just keep dreaming. 

No matter the disappointments we face

No matter the stress as we are waiting to see what happens

we have to keep dreaming,

because we hope for something great,

something even better than what we have right now!

Keep Dreaming...

A bit of everything!

This is going to be a mixed post, a bit of a couple things that happened, and just some random thoughts.

First off I would like to tell all about my WONDERFUL birthday! So many people made me feel so so special! First off I woke up and started to get up and was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when my roommate came in and said.... "Can you please go back to bed?! How am I supposed to bring you breakfast in bed, when you are in the bathroom? That is not where people eat it!" I must say that is probably the best birthday wish I have ever had! 

This was what she brought in initially.... a mixture of four different cereals covered in syrup!

This was my real breakfast though! She even woke up early to make the muffins from scratch...
Can you say amazing?

 After I went to classes I came home to find this on my bed!     Do I have awesome friends or what?

 I thought my birthday was pretty much over and since it had been so great I was perfectly happy with that! But when I got to FHE I found a wonderful surprise party! How sweet are they?

My "brothers" made these! Aren't they beautiful? and they don't die :)

Then to top off the night I went on a really fun date with an awesome guy! 

So that was my wonderful birthday! I had such an amazing day! I'm not going to lie, I wasn't looking forward to it, I mean I thought that since it was college I really wouldn't do anything, people wouldn't care. We're all so busy with classes and homework. Wow did everyone prove me wrong! Thanks so much to all!

Secondly I would like to discuss walking... It is complicated if anyone hasn't noticed. Sometimes you just want someone to carry you. There is so much to focus on, 

one foot first while you balance on the other. 

Be careful! 

Don't tip over. 

Oops that step was too big. 

Now too small.

Then you think you've got it and suddenly someone says, 

"don't just walk, there are stairs. and sometimes ice. Keep up with the big kids."

Really, how can we be expected to manage it all? Sometimes it just seems like too much. You just want someone to carry you. Without realizing it, you suddenly find yourself on the floor and it didn't feel good getting there.

Well I'm trying to learn to walk again... all the steps are new and there is more to focus on.

I need to buy food. and cook it

don't spend too much money

budget: rent, tuition, ouch.

make friends and be social but don't slack on your grades!

homework.

Sometimes it just feels like it is too much! I wish there was someone who could do it all for me. Someone who knows how to handle all that makes up life and can just tell me how to do it. Take away the thinking part. Then all I would have to do is hold on. 

But you know what? I want to learn to walk on my own! As tough as it is learning, I want to be able to do it all alone. To let go of someone else's hand and march up those stairs by myself!

For now I may have to spend some time crawling... but that's okay by me!

I think the best part of learning to walk is when you start to learn to dance. That is the part when it finally starts to get fun. Maybe i can skip ahead to that part... :)

(Thinking about walking makes me miss my little miss Pyper!)

Here is the latest clothing experiment photo... I still have so many to go...