Patience

I always considered myself to be patient. I mean I don't feel like I'm too spoiled or get everything right away or anything, I work for the things I do get. But I realized lately, that I am so not patient. Okay so I guess I knew it before, I mean one of the reason's I don't cook a lot is because I am too impatient and crank up the heat and then burn stuff, but I thought when it really mattered I was patient. But here is how it really goes.

I give myself a deadline, I say I won't think about it until a certain point, but that is just to make it easier for me to wait longer. Then if whatever I'm waiting for hasn't happened at that point I usually just give up and feel disappointed. Even though that was the point that I said I would actually start waiting at... So basically I wasn't patient at all to begin with. 

Then today I heard something that was said by someone I really admire about patience. He talked about how patience isn't just waiting for something, but its working towards it, or some other worthy goal, while your waiting. Not just sitting around and expecting something to happen, but trying to patiently go about getting there. In some ways it doesn't really make sense to me, but in some ways I think 'huh okay so I'm really not patient at all' 

I don't like to wait. I like to feel gratification if I have done something. not necessarily that instant, but who really enjoys waiting forever. That is really something I need to work on. I mean I remember just waiting for the day I would turn 14, then for the day I would turn 16 and drive and date, then 18 and graduating, now there are all other kinds of things to wait for, and who knows if they will ever come. Being patient has turned into so much more than waiting for Santa. Patience is a virtue and one I definitely don't posses, but I'm working on it. Hopefully it doesn't take too long! :) 

Speaking of Santa... 

Home again home again...

Wow i just don't know what to write about... I could tell you about my week off but I think that would be kind of boring and I'm not sure that I want to talk about it right now. Not that it wasn't WONDERFUL, but I just lived it so I'm not in the mood to rehash. But I did have a really good time!
One weird thing about last weekend was being with older people. Not older as in Senior citizens, but just late 20's kind of thing. kids, married, that stuff. It was weird because I felt young, Okay not that that is weird because i always feel young, but because I hang out with people that age all the time and don't feel young then, so why does it matter now. Its the same when you go home though. At school age doesn't matter, but back in your home-town with the people you grew up with suddenly it does. They remember when you were little and you remember looking at them and thinking 'wow she/he is so old and mature and beautiful' so it just feels weird seeing them now when your equal-ish.
You know what else was weird this weekend, talking to my cousin. We talked about love and getting married and life and its just weird to think about. All my life I've thought about getting married, the dress, the wedding, the guy, things that every little girl dreams of. But now its different. I am graduated, and old enough that when I date guys now I have to think about how serious I want it to get because if it reaches a certain point it could lead to marriage. Now here is my question..
How do you ever know if you have the right guy? I mean you can look around and pick out your favorite eyes, personality, temper, that kind of thing, but there is always the chance that you will be surprised. it seems so impossible to try to find someone and to know that he is close enough to perfect...

Thank Goodness for Thanksgiving!

Wow almost a week without posting. That's odd.
I think that this school is brilliant. I mean what other schools give their students an entire week off for Thanksgiving? Its genius and I am so excited. This last week has been a big one with tests and getting stuff done like picking out classes. I am so looking forward to a week of just relaxing and watching the entire Star Wars series if I can manage it :) I am not going to think about the fact that two weeks after this break I will be facing final exams and finishing cheer and having to get in final assignments and all my cultural events and... oh my. For now I am going to forget it. Although I may try to get all my cultural events requirements finished over the break so that I can have one less thing to worry about in the up coming month. It will be so nice to be down in Utah at someone else's house where they will make me food and I don't have to wake up till noon if I don't want to (that will never happen but the option is nice). BLISS and comfort. for an entire week!
May I say one thing though, how in the world did it already get to be thanksgiving break? where did the semester go? I'm going to have to start new classes and get new professors and three new roommates. I have loved this semester and now I am concerned that everything is going to change. EEK! oh well at least I still have family back home that loves me and Micahlyn and Amanda are sticking around!!

...Life...

this is probably going to seem like a very chill post compared to my last few rants. I seriously feel like I have major mood swings lately. One second I am ridiculously happy, walking home from class and feeling great, but then suddenly, WHAM! I'm just feeling homesick and stressed out and tired. It is completely a choice I think. I just let myself not do things and not be busy. When I am busy I enjoy life. I am working towards a goal, but it is when I let myself go off course and waste time that I start to feel down. I really need to stop doing that. 

Right now I'm going to take a moment to feel sorry for myself then the rest of the weekend I am going to accomplish something. I miss my sisters, I miss my mom, I miss my dad, I miss my brothers, I wish I could be there with Matt and talk to him, I miss Home. 

Now that is done. I am going to spend this weekend getting ready for next week. I have an American Foundations test that I would really love to knock out of the park! We got our first tension analysis paper back and we did really well on it! I was especially excited because I felt like I had a really big part in writing it.... like doing most of it... so it was great! We are going to have to do one more of those next week and hopefully we can even improve~. I have finished all my BofM homework for next week so I won't have to worry about that this weekend! But I do have a big Heroic Journey music test. We have to be able to recognize 25 classical music pieces, state their name, composer, and the style. It is really kind of tough but a good thing to learn!

Biggest thing I have to do this weekend is figure out what classes I want to take next semester. Sign ups are Monday and I don't know what I want/need to take. I am really enjoying the classes I have this semester and I am not looking forward to starting a whole new set with new profs and everything. Oh well there is nothing I can do but move forward. This semester has gone by so quickly. Before I know it winter will be over, then spring and I will be home!! That will be wonderful. Then I will be finished my first year as a University Student!

Life is good, I need to be careful to enjoy what I am doing now, rather than being concerned about the future.

I'm engaged!

Okay so this may come off as  a rant, but its not really its just ... okay maybe its a bit of a rant
Boys are great sometimes! they can be so helpful and fun and great to talk to. I find it way easier to make friends with boys than with girls typically. but sometimes.... what is wrong with them!?!
I go through so long where it feels like I can't get a boy to notice me, but then suddenly there are all these boys asking me on dates. I know why am I complaining? because although they are really nice guys I like to be friends with, I am not interested in dating them. Or anyone else really for that matter. At the moment I feel like I am consumed with school and cheer and catching up on sleep... I know its selfish, but the time I have free I typically like to just chill and watch a movie or hang out with friends. Not be forced to stay up late with someone I'm not really interested in. Just because curfew is midnight doesn't mean you need to hang around till then. Why are people around here not content with just being friends. Everyone is looking to date or make out or get married (not necessarily in that order lol) I know I really shouldn't be complaining but I'm just getting sick of having to be nice and go out with people or being worried I'm going to offend them and being forced to explain that I don't want a boyfriend right now. Rexburg is being over run with people just looking to date anything that is female I mean 4 dates in 7 days, this is getting ridiculous.
I only write this because no one really reads this blog and I'm pretty sure none of the boys do. If one of you does read this know it doesn't necessarily apply to you personally... some of the dates have been really fun and a couple i really did want to go on! put yourself in with that group. I don't mean to sound like I am bragging or anything, I'm just getting a bit exasperated! I think I need to tell the world I'm engaged or something to avoid it! I started wearing my young womens ring again. I stopped wearing it to avoid scaring boys away, bad call!
p.s. i'm experimenting with color and font sizes to make it more interesting :)

White Fluffiness

we have had the most beautiful weather here i Rexburg Idaho. On Saturday I felt as if summer was still going it was so beautiful. T-shirt and shorts day (if we were allowed to wear shorts :) Sunday was a bit chillier and it looked as though it might rain. Monday it began... Oh SNOW how I missed you! who would have thought? Buckets and buckets. It now suddenly is winter, the branches are laden with gorgeous white and if you can find anywhere that people haven't walked it is absolutely beautiful! I feel suddenly like home and Christmas! I needed this to wake me up to enjoying continuing on being here. It is so beautiful! I just love wearing coats and scarves and gloves. The only problem is the slush... yesterday my footwear was definitely not good for preventing slipping and although I didn't quite biff it I nearly did. So last night I went to the store to try and get some boots but unfortunately couldn't find any that I liked. Sad day. Luckily I have a small pair that will have to do for now but I should probably find something a little better soon...

no i did not take this picture but it is pretty anyways 

Grocery Rant

In Rexburg Idaho there are multiple places to shop for groceries, Albertsons, Walmart, Broulims..etc. Personally I began shopping at Albertsons and I quite enjoyed it. I even have a cool little card that makes me feel all grown up ;). Then a few people kept telling me that Broulim's was cheaper so finally this month I caved and tried it out. Well let me tell you. I was not happy! I bought cream on one night, the next morning when I went to open it there were all kinds of nasty chunks. When I went to the store to get a new one (which they kindly allowed me to get in exchange for the other) all of the creams were either expired by a few days, or within days of expiring. Not cool. The milk I bought, thinking that it would have a few weeks like it always did at Albertsons, expired within two days. The bananas that were green when I bought them have turned a brownish color over a few days, and the grapes that I carefully examined were mushy. Broulims I am not impressed! Take a guess as to where I will be shopping next?

Quick Week

Wow I hadn't realized that it has been so long since I last posted. So here's what has happened in a nutshell...
Halloween was lame. I dressed up as a fairy and that was fun but didn't really end up doing anything so it was disappointing.
Cheer is still a blast! I love trying new things and making friends with all the awesome people on the team. They are all so willing to help me out and give me tips and its just great! Also I have learned/ am in the process of improving on partner stunting. So basically this guy grabs my waist and tosses me up in the air then catches me on his hands. So sweet. This week our performance is combined so we have like a million stunt groups going at once and it is really fun and looks super sweet. I just hope that nothing falls and the girl back-flipping into a stunt doesn't fall/ i don't miss her foot :)
Lets see... I don't know what else happened over the weekend so i'll just talk about this week. It has gone by so stinking fast! I can't believe it is already Friday, not that I am complaining or anything. Wednesday was my roommates birthday so that morning we bought whip cream and strawberries and flowers and had a fun french toast breakfast with all the apartment roomies. It was super fun and Micahlyn was so happy! She left me the sweetest little note thanking me for the breakfast and it just made my day.
Thursday was the best day ever. I was really tired so I accidentally slept in a bit, and when I woke up I realized that Sydnie (other roomie) and i were supposed to go to the temple. So i quickly went into her room and told her i forgot and asked her if she still wanted to go. She was a bit concerned about making it back for class and so i started hesitating and thinking that i would just put it off again. But she is awesome. She just looked at me and said lets go, jumped up and we got ready. it was so nice to finally be able to perform baptisms after trying twice and not being able to wait for our turn because of classes. Thanks so much to an awesome roommate who wouldn't let me bail! also it was nice because we got through really quick and made it back in plenty of time for class so now we have decided on a particular day and are going to try to go every week. Being at the temple just put me in the best mood all day and everything else just seemed wonderful. There was only on thing that could have improved the day but it was fine without it. I am so glad to have such awesome roommates who all try to keep me doing what I should and are always there for me when I need. Best girls ever!
P.S. I am trying to decide between a capital I or a lower case i. i know which is correct, but which looks cuter? any opinions? let me know