My Sphere of Action

Okay I don't know how many who read this do visiting teaching, but I went and did mine last night and it left me thinking. (oh if you don't know what visiting teaching is basically it is a wonderful chance for women from the church to look out for each other and to teach (me in particular) to get out of our comfort zone) Well the message this month was on an EXTENSIVE SPHERE OF ACTION, and it talked about how we as women can impact the world. At least that is where the conversation between the women I get to visit with went and it was really interesting. We talked about how we can impact those outside of our home and within it. The most interesting part to me was when we talked about how much a smile can change someones day..

 this blog is awesome

I am very shy and if I see someone walking down the hallway in the opposite direction as me and coming towards me I tend to look down or out the window or to pull out my phone and pretend to text just to avoid eye contact. I feel like a weirdo smiling at every person I see and I am just sure people think "what's wrong with her?" but last night I was told a very moving story about how something as simple as a smile changed someone else's life. So here is my new goal/challenge to the blogosphere. You have an incredible influence so try it out and smile see how much it changes your day even if you never know if you impact anyone else. if a bunch of us are running around smiling then each of us will look like less of an idiot. I'm going to try to extend my sphere of action. Who's with me?

Christmas Spirit

Okay so I realize that my last post was also about Christmas, but it is just so wonderful and I had such a great Christmassy day that I have to post about it...
Last Sunday after Church I went out to my Grandma and Grandpa Oviatt's to spend some time with them and if that visit didn't scream Christmas I don't know what does. First they fed me beef and barley soup with home made baking powder biscuits (okay i realize not particularly christmassy, but warm soup- winter.. you see my connection?). Then my Gramps and I sat down and watched the old Christmas Carol movie (I did sleep through part of it, but enjoyed what I saw) Then G-ma started to teach me how to make Christmas Chocolates. the caramel turtles kind. They were delicious and so fun to start to learn although I would like to learn more in depth and about more kinds of chocolates! Then we pulled out their mini tree and decorations and all my Grandpa's singing dancing Christmas things and had a blast doing that!

Isn't my G-ma the Cutest! and she knows every trick in the book! in fact i think she wrote the book

It has been so much fun for me being up in Edmonton and getting to know my grandparents on this side of my family so much better! They are some of the most wonderful people I know and do everything that they can to help take care of me while I am up here. Any problem I have I know they are 100% willing to help solve. 

After being at the G-rents I went home/ across the alley and watched the Christmas devotional which was absolutely wonderful! It is so amazing to be able to hear the voice of God through His prophets and to know of His love and concern for each of us here on earth. The Christmas season is a wonderful reminder of His Son and the life He lived while here. 

So all in all it was a very Christmassy day. I think I may have even watched a Christmas movie after that but I am not completely certain. Although I almost forgot to mention that the night before we had our ward "Ugly Christmas Sweater" Party which was so much fun and such good food! I can already feel myself gaining my allotted Christmas weight EEK! And after the party a big group of people went SKATING! Have I ever mentioned how much I love skating! my friend/ roommate was trying unsuccessfully to teach me to do the crossover backwards thing, but I am going to continue trying. 

SO all in all it wasn't just a Christmas day, but a Christmas weekend! How wonderful. AND only one more week of finals then I get to go home for 2 weeks! So many fun plans involving family and friends and giving and oh i am just so excited! 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

December 1st!

Okay first off yes I do know it is the 2nd today, but yesterday was the first and it put me in such a great mood that I just decided it needed to be blogged about. I don't know about you, but I LOVE Christmas! I have been listening to Christmas music since the weekend of November 11th because I was coming home and found a radio station that plays it ALL the time. Since then I have found another so I don't even have to listen to commercials! It is so great, and yesterday when I woke up and realized it was December 1st I was so excited and honestly was just in a giggle randomly and smile all the time mood all day. 

One thing I don't like about Christmas is how much people don't focus on the true meaning of it. I know not everyone believes in Jesus Christ and so that part doesn't seem to apply, but even if you don't celebrate the birth of that Baby and the amazing gift it is I feel like everyone should recognize the beauty and spirit of Christmas. I have been trying to think of a way to make Christmas seem more special to me and come up with a bunch of different ideas, but most of them have fallen through. So I decided to start somewhat small this year and work my way up in years to come. I have decided that everyday starting yesterday and going to Christmas I am going to try to do something for someone else. Doesn't have to be big, but just something to remind me that there are other people in the world and to try to remind me about Christmas and how wonderful it is!

Join me if you wish try consciously to do something for someone else every day then take a calendar and check off the days that you did it just as a little reminder! 

Just as a side note, does anyone ever wonder about something in the past and how it would have turned out if maybe you hadn't said something, or maybe if you had? Me neither... 

Newest Nephew!

On October 1, 2011 little Ayden James Cosgrove was born. Here are a few photos of my darling little nephew

Pyper showing her new Cousin her fairy toy

The three cousins!

It was so much fun for me growing up with my cousins who were all close in age. I'm so excited to continue watching these kids grow up together. Pyper absolutely loves Ayden it is so cute to watch them together. I just love going home and spending time with them. He is such a sweet baby and he smiles all the time except when he is sleeping (which is most of the time) but its nice to just hold him while he sleeps. Such a sweet baby! I have decided that I love having a niece and two nephews. They are so fun to play with and I don't have to be the parent or discipline the kids. I just love them so much and am really the luckiest "AUNTIE CHLO" in the world!

studying.. who does that?

Certainly not me right now...
Do you ever get in those moods when you just can't study. you know you should and that if you could just get yourself started you could get completely absorbed and do some amazing cramming. BUT for some reason sitting down and reading those notes seems to do nothing. This is me right now.  I open the page and look at it and yet nothing (and I really mean nothing) is sticking in my head. Lucky me to get a brain block when I have a major test wednesday. I think it is made harder because I got a test back today and didn't do quite as well as I would have like. I did better than I thought, but it still wasn't what I wanted. I hate when I feel like I know the information and yet for some reason it just doesn't come out on paper.

I have a question for the blogosphere: How am I supposed to balance enjoying life, and getting good grades?
I have always been a bit of a nerd and done well in school, but I have also loved life and been involved in many things. At the beginning of this school year I was working SO hard! I did nothing but study, had very few friends and basically did was a hermit. and I hated my life. Lately I have been trying to be a bit more balanced. I go out, I've made some great friends, but I also am trying very hard in school. I didn't feel like this new socializing was impacting my school work, until I got this test back today. I don't know that I would have done any better than I did if I hadn't gone out so much, but I have started to wonder because my grade was quite a bit lower than other girls who I usually can match. So what do I do? just take it as this one test and wait and see what happens? or go back to locking myself in my room?

upcoming posts

There are a few things (well mostly just one thing) I have been wanting to blog about and I thought "hey today would be perfect!" however I forgot my camera cord at home so I couldn't put up the necessary pictures to tell the story but as a little sneak preview it has to do with the newest member of my family!

Today is Canadian Thanksgiving! well i guess technically that isn't till Monday, but we are doing dinner today so it is my thanksgiving. In some ways it doesn't really seem like anything particularly special because most of my family won't be coming to dinner which makes me sad. I miss the days when everyone liked everyone else and wasn't across the country, but hopefully we will all fix that soon. BUT it is a wonderful time to recognize all the blessings and great things in our lives! Here is my list:
1. my family: parents and step parents, brothers, sisters, niece and nephews, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and all the people who came before me and care about me.
2. the gospel: I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It impacts every aspect of my life and I know that I am happiest when I am living the teachings of it. I don't like to think about who, and where I would be without it.
3. my program: it was such a pain to get into, and it is so hard now, but I love it! I know it is where I am supposed to be and I am so grateful for all I have learned to get me to this point. AND a big thanks to all the people standing behind me telling me I can do it!
4. my roommates: of course there are small things that aren't great, but in general we all get along and haven't had any big problems which is great.
5. my friends: I have a very close group of friends that I have grown up with and they mean so much to me. It is crazy being separate from them but we are still close. Most of "my boys" are out on missions right now and I am so proud of them. they are such great examples to me!.
This is just a simplified list, but if you look around there are so many more things to be thankful for. like the sun, flowers, nice people on the bus, a warm jacket... the list can go on and on. Every morning I wake up and think about the things I am grateful for and it makes getting out of bed so much better! sometimes I include things like the fact that I get to wear scrubs today haha (its truly a wonderful thing) "

"Count your many blessings name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done!"

Small Things

The other day I had the best day ever! And nothing major happened, but there were just a bunch of wonderful little things that made me feel like the world was just poised for me to take it. So I thought I would share my day with the blogosphere and hopefully encourage you to notice the small perfections in your life

1. Ran into my "bus buddy" who I have been missing lately. Even though he didn't ride the bus it was so fun to see him!

2. Got a few tests back and did pretty well on them. Not a huge deal, but it was like someone saying, "hey i know this program is hard but you can do it!"

3. I walked out of the building and right away as I go through the doors there was the bus. No running for it hoping to catch it, no waiting 15 minutes, just RIGHT THERE! how beautiful

4. one of my wonderful friends in my program and I decided to celebrate surviving the first 3 weeks by stopping at an adorable little cupcake shop we always just ride by on the bus. Delicious!

5. While we were in the shop I was secretly kind of thinking that it would be unfortunate because we would need to sit and wait for the next bus to go by (still would have been worth it!) BUT much to my surprise, we walk out the door, look to our left and there is our bus again! wait to go #9

6. I went home and rather than jumping right into homework I decided to start of my weekend with relaxation and made popcorn and watched Singing in the Rain. If you haven't seen it you really need to because it just makes you feel good inside!

7. After watching that movie it was a struggle for me to sit still, so I didn't! Tannis and I sang and "tap danced" in the kitchen while Mallory thought we were a couple of crazy people, but it was so good!

So if you are having a tough time I know how you feel, but watch out because some day soon there will be a day when all the little things seem to work in your favor. Remember that day, write it down, and relish in it!

someone..

Do you ever get that feeling that you just want someone to talk to? Not just in a particular moment, but someone you can share every detail with all the time. Okay maybe not quite that extreme, but someone who knows you completely that you tell about your day and they make you feel better. Even if you weren't feeling bad before they just somehow improve whatever it was you were feeling. and it kinda helps if they are someone to cuddle with if you are sad.

Now please don't get me wrong! Girls are great! I have some of the best friends in the world who listen to me cry and whine (i apologize because i know this can be annoying), some wonderful roommates who get to hear about ultrasound far more than they would like to I'm sure, and I honestly am so so lucky because one of my best friends is my roommate and that has been such a great blessing to me right now! But with all the wonderful things about girls there is just something about a close boy. friend. not even necessarily romantically a boyfriend although that is nice haha but just having that male perspective. That someone you can feel comfortable texting randomly in the day just to see what they are doing. That person you look forward to talking to and seeing when he isn't around. that person that is the motivation for you to go out and to try and look pretty for just because it feels good. ( this is definitely optional depending on my mood ) 

Maybe I'm just a bit of a sap and silly, but that is what I love about relationships and dating, that close connection with one person. I'm not a big party-er I'm more of a one on one kinda gal and so I really love that close personal friendship. I mean having a lot of friends is great! and FUN and I have nothing against it. I just feel like nothing can really compare to feeling like there is always someone there for you who wants to hear from you just as much as you want to talk to them..

sorry no pictures with this one. but i think there are plenty to last a while hehe

What Me?

Introducing Ginger 

Obviously I have been a little off on my blogging over the summer, but I am back again and hopefully will maintain a much better posting routine.
 Rather than attempting to sum up my summer with words I tried to make an effort to take pictures in order to document some of the high lights of it. Oh and I have been moved up to Edmonton for about 3 weeks now so there are a few pictures of my house and adventures here so far :) I hope you enjoy...

On my way to work one morning I found THIS   which meant something else was soon to be part of our family..

Since she hadn't slept the night before we spent the day doing  THIS

Later on we went to the hospital and found THIS

Isn't my sister BEAUTIFUL!

Later on this summer we went to Thunder in the Valley 

It was so much fun. Minus the pouring rain that soaked everything
(including our blankets) all the way through 

l

I spent A LOT of time HERE

(these are for my Nana)  

 I spent as much time as I could with my ADORABLE niece and nephew. Aren't they just the CUTEST?

We may have also had a Tea Party for Relief Society which was just a GRAND affair

We also went to the ZOO 

 AND THEN.... I MOVED.... again haha

new house

new lawn

new room 

and again 

new living room (in case your wondering it used to be a loverly coral color. many thanks to Kevin Dudley!)

My first attempt at fRencH ToasT 

unfortunately I forgot that I didn't have syrup... Nutella to the rescue! 

my massive stack of EXPENSIVE textbooks 

Our first road trip home 

Tanny Poo the trusty driver!

and a Happy Picture to BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY!! 

Hello Cyber World!!

I would like to extend an apology for not blogging in so long! For about two weeks we didn't have internet because we moved across town and changed our internet company and oh goodness it has just been a mess! Then I have been so busy with work and catching up on my lovely online class that I have not had a chance to blog. So tonight I decided I would finally set aside some time specifically just to catch up.

I feel like so much has happened! But then again I am sure it is practically nothing compared to real life, but I have had a few very exciting things happen.

1. mainly I have been working which isn't very exciting, but I am still alive and kicking so I consider that a GREAT thing. 

2. I got a calling in my ward. Second Councillor in the Relief Society. How strange is that? I mean I've only been attending R.S. for about a year. But I have to be honest I really LOVE this calling! The girls I get to work with are great and I love being forced right into the ward and trying to get to know all the girls and to serve them. It is probably the best calling I've ever had <3 

3. I kinda said this earlier, but we moved just across town, but it is great!! We have the cutest little house, both inside and out and it feels so homey and wonderful. I will truly be sad to leave it come fall. 

here's a couple pictures of the house/ my room 

in case anyone cares I ventured out in the rain just to take this picture haha

4. One of my best friends got ENGAGED last night. Oh my goodness I can't even believe it! How are we old enough to be even considering that? I don't even have a boyfriend let alone a potential marriage partner in my life yet. I love being single and a student and having control of my life not anyone else's. And yet I am so so happy for my friend! I absolutely love reading this blog of a girl I know who is married and they have to be one of the happiest couples I have ever seen! 

5. (this is the most exciting news for me even though I know that is selfish) I have been offered a place in the Diagnostic Medical Sonography Program at NAIT! for anyone who doesn't know what that means (included me about six months ago) I am going to be an Ultrasound Technologist! This is what I spent the last 8 or so months working for and am still working for because I still have to finish one class in order to keep my spot. I am nearly done I just have my final to write which means I will be studying like CRAZY!! and if that isn't good enough I get to go live up in edmonton and be with my Tannis Wilde! I have missed her so much this past year that we have been 14 hours apart and with her busy class schedule we didn't get to talk nearly enough so I can't wait to spend more time with my darling friend.

Speaking of friends... growing up is weird, but growing apart is weirder. I've been so lucky to stay pretty close to my girls this past year, but I really didn't realize how much I missed them. Then I get to spend some time with everyone, or even just a few of them and its like the chaos and noise around me that I didn't realize was there is suddenly settled. Everything just feels right, you know? And now here we are beginning this new phase of life where suddenly others become more important than the girls we have been so close to for so long. Which is how it should be. But at the same time it is weird and sad and feels a like a bit of chaos is coming into life that we won't notice, but I know when I can't handle it, they will be right there ready to make everything the way it should be.

I will always be grateful for these amazing girls in my life!

 And just because I promised pictures here is 1of the cutest girl in the world!

and did I mention that very soon we will be getting TWO more kids in our family. 2 little nephew, one in a couple days and one in a couple months! Quite excited :)

Success feels near!

Hey all (or the few who actually read this in their spare time (btw I appreciate you!))
okay so apparently my summer blogging skills are not exactly up to par and I'm sorry for that. I will truly try to improve.

Well here is a little about my life that you've missed since I've been such a slacker... 

1. I started work at the golf course (again). I know could my life be more exciting? I wake up at a ridiculously early hour (actually right now week days are only 7 am so I feel like I am sleeping in haha), go sit on a mower for 8 hours, or rake bunkers or change golf ball washer water. I know it sounds so thrilling haha last year I hated this job so I'm not really sure what motivated me to come back, but here I am and its not too bad. The best part, it is the beginning of May and I have a pretty stinking dark tan for someone who travels no where :)
2. I had my interview at NAIT. I think it went well but I am not quite sure. I answered the questions as best as I could and tried to just be me. If they don't think that I am right for their program then I guess they know better than I do and I will have to live and "find a new dream" (name that movie haha)
3. I have spent a ton of time with my sister and my niece. I don't know what it is but I just love my family so much now. Not that I didn't before mind you! but its just that now I want to see them all the time! my phone is filled with pictures of Pyper and I just can't get enough of her. Plus we have two more little boys joining our family within the next few months! I can't wait. May I just say I love being Aunty Chlo!

        I guess that is really all my life is right now... Oh and we're moving this coming week which I find absolutely "frilling!" (sorry I had a prof who said it like that and I just can't get it out of my head haha) Also I am so so close to finishing my online course! Only 5 more assignments and if I really buckle down I could probably get them done all next week! All the work over the last 4 1/2 months will finally be finished! I won't constantly have this nagging monster saying "you should be studying" I can seriously taste the relief and freedom!! Some days I just want to sing on the roof top. I probably will when I actually finish haha
(I promise to break out my camera and post some pictures soon. All I have so far is a sick comparison of my sunburned arm next to my pasty leg NOT appealing)

a sad Chloe...

Okay so I'm not one to put up sad or complaining posts because well who really wants to read sad things. But this is me kind of complaining and I'd like to apologize right off.
I am really happy to be home! being able to see me family has been great and spending time with my friends has been absolutely wonderful! But I am really sick of one thing about being here... I am sick of being alone.
I don't know if it is the stark contrast from having 5 roommates to being the only child at home and the other two people living there are at work till late all the time and have just ditched you and gone to mexico or what, but I seriously feel lonely. Its weird because I've always kind of been a "I'd rather chill by myself for a bit" kind of girl, but now I just want to be around people. I'm actually excited to start work just so I spend time talking with people. Lately my days consist of hours of piano, reading, cleaning a bit, getting ready, then spending the night alone watching movies. Its not that I don't want to go out or that I'm not trying, but I just don't know very many people here to hang out with. I know its pathetic and I need to be trying harder, but sometimes I just wish it wasn't so hard. I miss having a group of friends to hang out with that I would go and do stuff with, fun stuff.
I think it is also hard being home because I miss my boys. I'm not looking for love or romance, but there is just something about hanging out with boys that is fun! Don't get me wrong I absolutely love my girls but it would be nice to have a bit of variety. Currently all my male type friends that I was really close to are out in the mission field. I am SO proud of them. I've just found myself really missing them these past two weeks...
Okay enough complaining. I know it will get better! I know the summer is just starting and that it will be so fun! I just need to change my attitude. (that will fix things right..?)

...Jiggety Jig

I can't believe I am now home for the summer! Its weird, but good. Good because I love seeing my family and I finally get to go earn some desperately needed money, but weird because it feels like nothing has changed. And also weird because I know I am going to be here for a very long time! 

The past year I spent at BYUI was probably one of the best I can ever remember. I grew up and learned so much and just had a lot of fun with life! I wish I took more pictures that I could put up to remember everything, but sadly I am not very good at remembering to use my beautiful camera. I am officially going to make a goal to fix that this summer. More pictures!

Speaking of summer... Now that i am out of high school summer is so much longer. I don't want to just waste it away and let it go by. I mean of course I will be working, but I don't want to just sit idling the rest of my time away. So I want to make a couple goals for summer... 

1. Work out. I love the feeling when I have worked my muscles and am all sweaty and tired. I know that sounds kind of gross, but you have to admit it is a good feeling isn't it?

2. Have an amazing interview and get into the NAIT ultrasound program!

3. Work my butt off and ace physics 30 so that NAIT will want to keep me in their program.

4. Read a lot. I hate when I just waste time and watch tv. I prefer to read and improve my mind and summer is the perfect time to do that!

5. Okay I have this weird/lame ish hobby that I have done for a few years now and for some reason I absolutely love it, but I feel weird telling other people about it. I have a small little flower garden in the front of our house and I absolutely love working it and growing the beautiful bright sunny flowers in the summer. But now we are moving so I will have to leave my garden behind. This summer I would like to start another garden with more of my favorite happy flowers.

So these are a few of my summer goals. I am sure I will come up with more as the summer goes on, but who knows. I also know that one of these is only partially based on things I can control. I will do my very best to accomplish it, but I guess when all is said and done there is only so much I can do!

Voicemail how I love you!

Lately my phone has been very lonely. I don't have very many texts or phone calls. It can go hours or even days without being used other than to check the time. Not that I am trying to depress anyone about my sad life haha I'm really doing just fine without the constant vibrations.
But today I was sitting in my Book of Mormon class and I felt my phone vibrate in the pocket of my back-pack against my foot. I figured it was just a text so I ignored it (not that I would answer my phone in class anyways). Then after class, as I was walking to my next class, I decided to check it. And I found a voicemail and missed call from a number I did not recognize.

"Hi Chloe this is... from the Diagnostic Medical Sonography program at Nait. I was hoping to schedule an interview with you. If you could give me a call at ...."

Thank goodness I finally decided to set up my voicemail after about 5 months. 

So I immediately called them back and now have set up an interview. I can't believe I made it through the first step. Now I just have to get myself completely prepped and make an amazing first impression! No pressure or anything haha As of this moment I am incredibly happy. Even my two hour physics class flew by. I definitely needed this today! I can make it through anything, Do all the hard things I need to, and work off my tail through life just so long as it is interspersed with moments like this! 

pure joy

April At Last!

A year ago at this time I was set to attend BYU provo. This coming weekend was the weekend when I went down to conference and visited campus and loved it! Pictured myself there, picked out housing, did my best to memorize campus in a day, and scoped out all the many attractive men that were going to be in my dating pool the coming fall (baha yeah right!) My life was figured out, at least for four years anyways. 

"Now wait!" you may be thinking, "I thought you were at BYU-I?" well you would be correct, I am! My future that was all planned out completely changed one day as I found myself facing challenge after challenge regarding BYU. Looking back now I see that these were hints to a rather dense chloe that I was not supposed to be attending that particular BYU. 

So then, after adamantly refusing to even consider it, I found myself changing my plans and begging BYU-Idaho to let me in for the fall semester without actually applying anywhere near the deadline. (I was a foolish youth I know haha) Everything worked out so perfectly and now I have been here for the past two semesters. And I have loved every minute of it! I can't believe that I ever thought of this as a lesser school because it is not! BYU-I has everything anyone could want, plus more! These past six months have been some of the best of my life and I have made some really truly wonderful friends while being here. and yet I find myself preparing to leave. 

When I came to school at BYU-I, I was picking a school, but I didn't pick a career. I don't know why, but I have never really known what I would like to do for the rest of my life. I just love so many different things and am interested in so many different parts of the world, that focusing on one and imagining myself doing that for the rest of my life has been hard for me to do. But in recent months I think I have found that one thing.

Back in January I applied to the Diagnostic Medical Sonography program at Northern Alberta Institute of Technology (also known as NAIT). This program would prepare me to become an Ultrasound Tech. I don't know exactly why, but this seems like something I could really enjoy and see myself doing for the rest of my life. But there is just one small problem... The program is really hard to get into. First your prerequisites will be looked over in order to see if you qualify to be short-listed. Usually you need somewhere around 90% I think to even be considered. Then if you are short-listed you will be invited in to an interview and a career investigations exam. After that you will find out if you have been accepted into the program. No Pressure...

Unfortunately for me one of the prerequisites includes physics 30. Guess what I didn't take in high school? You got it! 

I am a big believer in fighting for what you want, so for the past 3 months, along with being a full-time college student I have been taking physics 30 online. Would I recommend this to anyone? No. Is it possible? Yes. And all this time I have also been waiting to hear whether or not I have even been shortlisted. 

In case anyone doesn't know I am not the most patient person. I like to plan ahead and know where I am going, so these past months of waiting have left me very ... distraught, stressed out, insecure, take your pick of uncomfortable sounding adjectives. 

I was told that I should hear back from NAIT within the first couple weeks or about halfway through April. so now on the last day of March I just wanna say to April, "could you have taken any longer getting here?!"

 It feels like a lot is on the line for me based on the decisions of other people that I cannot control and that is really hard! but I know it will all work out eventually. Right? I guess I just need to keep my fingers crossed and my faith in someone else who knows everything that I don't. Wish me luck! 

Finally Finished!

Earlier this week I finally achieved my goal! I finally wore every article of clothing in my closet without wearing anything twice. I think I finished around March 23rd. Since I begun on January 22nd that means that I went two months. That is a lot of clothing in case someone didn't notice haha but you know what is sad? I really didn't want to throw away practically anything!! There were only a few things that I really decided I didn't want. But I have decided that I am going to get rid of a few things. But I don't want to just throw them away, i just want to find something good to do with them. I'll let you know when I figure out what that will be. But here are the final pictures (there are a few)

Oddly enough I thought that this experiment would make getting dressed and picking clothes easier, but it didn't. Now I just go to my closet and again find myself thinking . I don't like my clothes I don't want to wear them. But I wanted to wear them and liked them when my choices were limited... Someone explain that to me haha

a weekend of fun, to a week or two of work

So this past weekend Chrissy, Tara, and I decided to get away. We were kind of getting sick of Rexburg because we have been here without a break since January. Okay so I had a break, but two of my favorite girls were just dying to get away so we did. We went to Utah and did some shopping, movie watching, basketball game watching, eating (lots of it. Have you ever heard of Mimi's Cafe? It is delicious and so cute! I highly recommend the breakfast menu =)).
This weekend I came to a realization of my favorite feature on a guy. actually first I should tell you about a realization I had earlier in the week about guys.
You know how everyone always asks "what do you notice first in a guy?" Not, What is most important, but what do you notice first. Occasionally through life I have found myself facing this question and trying to come up with an answer but finding it very difficult to analyze my true feelings and first impressions. So last week for some reason I found myself walking from a class and looking at guys (of course who doesn't) around campus and I decided to actually pay attention to what I noticed first. So here it goes:

1. Clothing- if I see a guy who dresses well I am automatically interested in looking closer. I noticed this when I found myself thinking a guy was cute even though his back was to me and he had a hood up. All I could see was his clothes. And they were nice haha

2. Hair- This may seem kind of strange because I don't have a particular style of hair I like on a guy, but it just should look nice. It really depends on the guy though. I mean not all guys can pull of the same style so just figure out what looks good on you I guess lol. 

3. Face- This includes eyes smile etc. I would say smile is a big deal for most girls. A smile is the thing that you remember even after they are gone. The  thing that really makes you feel good. When you picture that all out complete smile that just lights up their face, you can't help but smile too! even if it is just to yourself. I find that too many guys seem to think smiling is lame, but trust me, we LOVE it!

I know this may seem very vain, but it is just something I thought of and this is my blog so I should be okay posting what I want right? You know what I love? Not look wise or anything like that, but I love the fact that everyone's tastes are different. I may think someone is cute and my friends may not. Or vice versa. But there is nothing wrong with that. I don't really know that there is always a reason behind my opinions, they just kind of happen and I think that is truly okay. The best part is that I can still have hope there will be someone who will find me attractive haha

The thing I realized that can really make a guy is a jawline. (I realized this while watching a movie this weekend) Tara knows the real word for the muscle, but it is long and I cannot manage to recall what she said. Probably would have a hard time spelling it too haha. Not that you need a good jaw to be good looking, but its nice sometimes haha girls am I right? 

Now I am nearing the end of my second semester at BYU Idaho. It has been so great and I truly love this school! I have learned so much and grown up a lot and had a great time doing it!  Now I have two weeks left of classes, followed by a week of exams, then it is time for students to go home and relax. I really wish I knew what i was going to be doing after that week though... 

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So I realize I haven't written for a while and that is mostly because I really don't know what to write about. Life hasn't been super exciting lately. Its mostly just me waiting to see where I am going to go. I am finding myself feeling down quite often and I know I shouldn't. I am so lucky for so many different reasons and I just need to learn to recognize them.
I'm lucky to be going to school.
To have grown up in such a great place where opportunities like education exist for me. I never once questioned whether or not I would be going to college. The only question was where? and what scholarships would I get to do my part to pay for it.
I'm lucky to have great friends who deal with my moods and love me anyways.
I'm grateful to have the confidence to be alone. And to be okay with it.
I am part of one of the best families in the world. Yeah we're messed up and not exactly what most people would call ideal, but i think you would have a very hard time finding a group of people who love each other more than we do. anywhere.
I am lucky to have people always encouraging me to do my best and press forward.
I'm lucky to be able to walk and run and dance. Those are some of the most important things in my life and I don't know what I would do without them.
I am incredibly happy that it is soon becoming SPRING! (cross your fingers that it doesn't snow tomorrow). I am sick of being inside and getting cabin fever.

   I just wish the not so wonderful thing that is always in the back of my mind would go away. I wish we could all be comfortable enough to say how we feel truly and not be scared of all the things we don't know. I wish that you would miss me, and if you already do then I wish you would say it.

You know what I am learning. Life isn't exactly how I want it to be. And that's okay because sometimes it is going to just be so much better. I know sometimes its not. But we all have to deal we the things that aren't perfect in order to appreciate all the things that ARE!


I just read the most perfect quote on my friends blog that goes with this.

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, 

so as to have the life that is waiting for us"

-Joseph Campbell

Drifting

 I feel like I am floating. Drifting in a sea of indecision. 

My boat is one of insecurity, and my oars are made of the two opposing sides of an argument.

My compass does not have the directions of North, South, East, and West. Instead it has possibilities. They are not four, but many.

                 The needle is the most important part. The part that tells me where to direct my little boat. But the needle doesn't seem to be working. 

It spins and spins only appearing to rest on a decision for a moment. 

If it rests at all. 

No decision is wrong. They all seem to lead to some form of the sun. But which possibility will I pursue? When there are so many.

Don't hurry those watching me say, but I can see the morning breaking and 

would like to be settled on the ocean 

before the day begins. 

I don't really have anything worth writing about today, but here are some more pictures. I'm nearly done. Although not really.