this is probably going to seem like a very chill post compared to my last few rants. I seriously feel like I have major mood swings lately. One second I am ridiculously happy, walking home from class and feeling great, but then suddenly, WHAM! I'm just feeling homesick and stressed out and tired. It is completely a choice I think. I just let myself not do things and not be busy. When I am busy I enjoy life. I am working towards a goal, but it is when I let myself go off course and waste time that I start to feel down. I really need to stop doing that.
Right now I'm going to take a moment to feel sorry for myself then the rest of the weekend I am going to accomplish something. I miss my sisters, I miss my mom, I miss my dad, I miss my brothers, I wish I could be there with Matt and talk to him, I miss Home.
Now that is done. I am going to spend this weekend getting ready for next week. I have an American Foundations test that I would really love to knock out of the park! We got our first tension analysis paper back and we did really well on it! I was especially excited because I felt like I had a really big part in writing it.... like doing most of it... so it was great! We are going to have to do one more of those next week and hopefully we can even improve~. I have finished all my BofM homework for next week so I won't have to worry about that this weekend! But I do have a big Heroic Journey music test. We have to be able to recognize 25 classical music pieces, state their name, composer, and the style. It is really kind of tough but a good thing to learn!
Biggest thing I have to do this weekend is figure out what classes I want to take next semester. Sign ups are Monday and I don't know what I want/need to take. I am really enjoying the classes I have this semester and I am not looking forward to starting a whole new set with new profs and everything. Oh well there is nothing I can do but move forward. This semester has gone by so quickly. Before I know it winter will be over, then spring and I will be home!! That will be wonderful. Then I will be finished my first year as a University Student!
Life is good, I need to be careful to enjoy what I am doing now, rather than being concerned about the future.
what you really need to stop doing is basin"g your happiness on productivity. Cut yourself some slack and let yourself have some down time where you don't have to be busy to feel good. Check your bracelet a few times and realize that sometimes "wasting time" is exactly the right thing for you to be doing. Keep some balance and realize that every moment doesn't have to be "moment-us", you get to have some that just are and time when you just get to be. Home misses you, too but we are so happy for the experiences you are having and that you get to have them. If you were to just take a nap or have a day where nothing gets done and you just get to be, then you are giving yourself the gift of balance. That is good enough. Be little for awhile and be Chloe - busy or not busy, doing or just being, that is enough. :)
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